Get Back Your Confidence

Get Back Your Confidence

Get Back Your Confidence

Final is never final. It is not how many times you fall that counts but how many times you are willing to get up, dust off the mud and get back in the ring. Your confidence is a torch and armour that will help you fend off doubt and silence naysayers. Pick your confidence and charge forward towards greatness. Challenge your challenges and doubt your doubts, but do not give up.

Adam Morgan wrote an inspiring book entitled: “Eating the Big Fish: How Challenger Brands Can Compete Against Brand Leaders.” In the book he narrates the story of a Japanese sumo wrestler called “The Tiger” who once ruled the Yokozuna roost. The Tiger’s trainer was interviewed and asked to share the keys to the success of his Yokozuna and he had this to say:  

“The old man was very clear. There were, he said, three things that were important to be a great sumo wrestler. The first was physical strength—and yet, he observed, while The Tiger was strong, there were other fighters who were stronger.” It is not that others are better or more competent and stronger. There will always be people that seem better or worse off. He went on to say, “The second important requirement, said the stable master, is excellent technique; but if The Tiger was strong on technique, he noted, there were other yokozuna as good or better.” So do not despair because other people look better, fitter and in advantaged circumstances. Do not let what other people have discourage you from entering the ring to try. There is one more requirement that made this wrestler stand out. This same element could also make you stand out.

The Tiger’s trainer said that there is a third requirement, that distinguished the wrestler and that is “shin” — Japanese for spirit. It is this that made the The Tiger a wrestling champion: “He never gives up. He never loses the will to win.” So it is in every endeavour. Do not lose your confidence. Do not lose your “shin” – That will to win and that confidence to dare something great.  

The road my be uphill and lonely, it is still a road that can be conquered and overcome. Keep trudging on. The horizon may look bleak and dark, keep driving because day break will come soon. Whatever it take do not lose your confidence. If you have to run and you had one thing to carry with you, make sure you take your confidence with you. If you have lost it or you fear you are losing it, get it back. There are more hills to climb and exploits to do. Keep on the move, alert for opportunity, ready for pressure and serving with humility and determination to win. Be willing to face the brutal realities of your situation and yet do not lose the confidence that one day you will prevail.  

Do Not Die in the Winter

Life is a collection of seasons. Every season has a reason, a purpose and its due turn in the cycle of life. Do not die in the winter of your life. Do not be tempted to expire while sitting on the shelf of life. Get up and get into motion. You only gain momentum when you are moving. Stop feeling pity for yourself and realise that what you do matters greatly. Do small things as though they are big things because size is a matter of posture and perspective. There are people that feed on your energy, do not disappoint them. You do not have the luxury of giving up and freezing in mid-air. Keep moving ahead, challenging your limitations and getting through the narrow straits.

Treat Yourself Well

In your world you are the most important person. You matter, so much. Do yourself a favour and treat yourself well. Take good care of yourself and build your confidence. Do not treat yourself badly and hope shoe up confidence. Do not talk to yourself negatively and badly, that is a bad sign of personal abuse. Do not curse because that is self-poisoning. Do not use self-depreciating language that is knocking your own bones off joint. Speak positively and tell yourself the greatness narratives. Visualise greatness and use affirmations daily. These are short positive statements that are confidence power shots that keep you going. You are important and what you do matters. Do not just dress yourself, package yourself for the message you have to the world.

How you treat yourself determines how you will treat others.

Be gentle and kind to other people, they may also be going through a tough time.

Put Failure into Context

Greatness does not mean that your path is just a rise, rise and higher rise. Greatness is moving from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm, confidence and courage. Put whatever failure your face into context and always know that no failure is ever final. Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat. Get back your confidence and fire one more shot.

There are more interesting things to be said about failure than success. Failure makes you think and helps you become strong. Failure clears the air for you to think straight without the applause of adoring fans or masses. Failure helps you remain humble and strong, with your spirit engaged. Failure helps you lean on the ultimate power that there is while success tempts you to think you are invincible and all-able. Failure makes you think. Do do lose the lessons of failure because you are too bitter to face them and too ashamed to show up again on stage. Revisit your failures to mine the residual gems that are too precious to throw away.

No person who has failed a few times and is still trying should ever be set down and written off as a failure. One is only a failure when dead or has stopped trying and drained dry all confidence. Kick back at life and get your confidence back. So long as you can still try you have not failed. So long as you are moving, regardless of the pace, you have not expired. So long as there is a knowing in you that you can still make one more attempt you are in the game. Keep trying and do not lose hope, faith and trust.  

The Difficult Start

If you have not started do not despair, keep your confidence and keep hope alive. If you are not being invited to places that matter do not despair and lose heart, keep doing what you know you must ands keep sharpening your pencil for the exams. Do not fail to start because you have given up hope and stopped believing. There is hope, there is hope, there is hope! Keep the hope alive and keep moving. If you have to start all over again, do not waste another day – start!

Keep Dreams Alive

Feed your dreams and not your fears. Keep the dreams alive and keep moving. The pace may be slow. You may feel that you are veering off course, keep focused on the dream and working towards your North Star. Dreams come true for those who believe and confidently work inch by inch towards them.  

Committed to your greatness.

Milton Kamwendo

© 2019, Milton Kamwendo


Milton Kamwendo is a leading international transformational and motivational speaker, author, and executive coach. He is a cutting strategy, team-building and organisation development facilitator and consultant. His life purpose is to inspire and promote greatness. He can be reached at: and Twitter: @MiltonKamwendo or WhatsApp at: 0772422634. His website is:

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